The Trials & Tribulations of One Victor Freestone

In which

truth is buried under the weight of social acceptance

St. Louis, Missouri

April 17th, 1845

Hello, Rodge,

My response will have to be brief; I’m still somewhat overwhelmed. The doctors say that I’m mostly recovered and should be released by the end of the month. I suppose I should count myself lucky. Accusing a slave of murder and attacking her in the middle of dinner could have gotten me sent to an asylum. The ravings of a lunatic, I’m afriad.

I’m not sure if I’ll be returning to Henshaw for a while. Perhaps I’ll take some time to travel. But see if you can catch that snake. Just make sure you don’t get bitten.

Lament Bean


St. Louis, Missouri

April 14th, 1845

Liar. I know you can read, Elle. You’ve hidden it from most, but you’ve helped me memorize Bible verses in the past; I know you’re not stupid. You can read, you can write, you know everything there is to know about the natural world. And you know how to make horses kill a man, even if I can’t prove any of this.

If you’re so worried about me, then you can confess so everybody stops thinking I’m crazy. You killed a man! My uncle! You helped me remember the Ten Commandments and you just broke the fifth without thinking twice! And nobody believes me! I couldn’t even convince Father to sell you, much less punish you. Are you why the bears attacked too? Can you command any animal? Did you slaughter an entire family?

Surely there’s some remorse in you, isn’t there? I know the Negro soul is not so different than mine that you are free of remorse. Is there no desire to repent? Even as you are damned by your nature, the Negro is not banned from the grace of God.

I don’t know. I don’t have the theological backing for this. My head remains somewhat fuzzy. I still can’t believe I stabbed you, even if you did deserve it.

I’m not going back to Henshaw. I’ll find an apprenticeship somewhere or work under one of my uncle’s friends or I’ll wander the Earth as a traveling minister. I don’t care what I have to do; I’m not going to stay there and live with you, knowing that every chicken and cow on our plot is one of your secret murder minions. But I need to know why? Why him? Why wait two decades to do this? Why kill anybody? Am I going to awake to hear that all of Henshaw’s been devoured by wild animals? Please, if you have any sympathy left for me, don’t let me wander the Earth not knowing.

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